Lee ([info]lee_scribbles) wrote,
@ 2004-06-08 23:19:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend  Next Entry
Current mood: amused

By the Numbers
So, after everything, I don't even have a new story in the Hidden universe. :) I'm working on a few chapters for that series, but having a hard time - everyone's dialogue comes off as rather stilted, and it's giving me writer's block. So to combat that, a friend of mine challenged me to write something surreal. She figured surreal is an easy thing to do, since it doesn't have to make sense. ^_^ So this is it - and I'm actually rather fond of it, all things considered. It got me writing instead of just editing the same stuff again and again, and I find myself strangely liking the characters. Eh. My mental image of my 'muse' (see icon) didn't like it, but I ignore her at all possible opportunities. :-P


By the Numbers
One turned to Three, cocking his head and twisting his hands. "Do you really think we can make it? Do you think we have a chance?"

Three nodded slowly. "Probably. Maybe. If we're careful."

Five, the youngest, peered around Three's legs. He blinked his slanted eyes and fisted his hands in Three's pants. "Careful? What does that mean? Do we gotta be quiet? Like a mouse or a bunny or a bird or a frog or a-" he rambled on in this vein for a while, the others speaking over him.

One didn't even look at Five, his gaze never leaving Three. "Maybe? That's all you can give us? Maybe? Maybe isn't very good. Couldn't you have ended on 'probably' instead of maybe?"

Three simply glanced at him and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "Maybe. Probably. If we're careful."

One nodded, decisively. "Better. Much better. I like it. Probably. We'll go, then."

Two and Four looked up from the floor, where they'd been crouched, talking quietly. "It's decided?" Two asked. She fiddled with the end of one of her pigtails, tracing a random pattern on her hand. "Wait, who decided? It wasn't Five, was it?"

"- or a dog or a parrot or a tiger or a -"

"No, it wasn't Five. Of course not. Who'd ask Five? He'd take a week. No, not Five at all." One picked at the cuff of his sleeve, tugging it down as low as possible, then shaking his entire arm to get the shirt to lay right against his shoulder again.

Four finally spoke. "It won't work. They'll catch us before the day is over." His voice was steady, even, without a hint of emotion. His palms were flat against the floor, and he didn't move at all, his gaze on One.

Three raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. Five continued on in his prattling, and Two hunkered down into herself, muttering too quietly to be heard, but One started gesturing wildly. "Not work! Of course it will work! Three said it would work!"

"Probably. Maybe."

One continued talking as though Three hadn't spoken at all. "If it doesn't work, she'd be wrong! And she's never wrong! And if we don't go, Five will continue talking until he runs out of breath and dies, and we don't want that!"

Everyone paused and looked at the boy.

"- pony or a all'gator or a trout or a bee or -"

"And Two agrees with me! Don't you, Two?" One turned the full force of his stare on the younger girl, the look on his face making him appear more eager than puppy about to be fed.

"I, uh, that is, I kind of, I mean, I don't want Five to be- " Two, startled, dropped her pigtail and tried to reply.

"You see!" One whirled on Four. "Even Two agrees with me!"

Four shrugged, "Doesn't matter," he said, and turned away, facing Two.

One stared at him, looking surprised and befuddled at the way Four had backed down so quickly.

Three interrupted One's silent gape. "Actually, if you noticed, I didn't say that it would work. I said that it would may-"

"Yes, yes, yes." One waved his arm, cutting Three off, and spun around. "So then, let's go, shall we? Chop, chop, time's a-wasting, anchors away!"

Four held out his hand, towards Two. Two, still mumbling under her breath, fell silent; looking surprised, she hesitantly took it, flinching away before settling her hand in Four's palm. Four stood up, pulling Two with him.

Three bent down and picked up Five, nodding absently at Five's continued recitation of various animals. He hadn't repeated one yet. She turned to One, adjusting Five until he was comfortably leaning his head against her shoulder.

"So, you'll be leading, then?"

One blinked, then stammered out, "I-I guess so. Since I've been here the longest, and all. Right." Tugging his shirt down so that the collar dug uncomfortably into the back of his neck, One turned to the door. Striding up to it, trailed by the others - only Five making any noise - he set his hand on the doorknob with no visible sign of hesitation.

Drawing a deep breath, One turned the knob. At the sharp 'click,' even Five fell silent, and all of them held their breath. One slowly pulled open the door, and the empty room was bathed in bright light. With one last swallow, One took a step into the outside, followed first by Four, Two trailing behind, their hands locked together. Three glanced behind her at the bare room, then followed, Five curled in her arms. The door closed softly behind them.


Things I didn't like: The opening, mainly. Also, the lack of description of where, exactly, they are. I mean, there's not much to describe - they're supposed to be in an almost entirely empty room - but I wish I had managed to work that in there. Ah, well. Maybe on the next revision. Story is cross-posted to [info]writer_girls. And don't expect another post for a while, sadly - my computer is giving me troubles, and that makes it very difficult to write. :(


(11 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]angelfish_82
2004-06-23 11:46 am UTC (link)
I'm a little confused as to why you named your characters after numbers? It reminds me of the children's show 'seven little monsters' (or something like that) where all the mosters are called 'one', 'two' etc. But I do like the title. :) Where are they trying to go? Are they escaping from somewhere?

P.S. On a non-related topic, I want to have 'writer_girls' in my 'communities' section, but not on my 'friends' list, can I take it off the 'friends' list without deleting it from the 'communities'?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-23 12:19 pm UTC (link)
Thanks for the comment!

I named them after numbers to help create a sense of surrealism. I also wanted to explore, at least in my own head, how a group of people would act if they were forced to veiw themselves as part of a set instead of an individual all the time. I've seen some of this in some sets of twins, though not all of them, and I was curious to see what it would be like with a less equal relationship (i.e., someone is clearly 'ahead' of you by being a higher number). It's not quite the same thing as having siblings, because with siblings, you're not quite as strongly linked to the order of birth.

As for where they're going - yeah, they're escaping. Sort of, at least. I'm intending to continue writing for this group, but I don't have a lot of solid plots, yet, so I'm just sort of playing around.

As for leaving writer_girls on your communities, but not on your friends list, I suggest setting up friends filters. You set up a list of people to be included in different catagories - family, communities, fanfic, whatever you want - and then you can choose which catagory you want to view. You can set one of them to be your default, so that whenever you click on your friends list, that's the one that shows up. You'll be able to switch between them easily by clicking on the blue bar at the top of the screen and then the ... next to friends. To set up the friends filter, go here for the FAQ about it.

That's the only way to have writer_girls listed as a 'friends' community without having it on your list.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-23 12:22 pm UTC (link)
And I should be checking my spelling before posting...
*view
*categories
*category

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]angelfish_82
2004-06-23 01:33 pm UTC (link)
That's a cool idea. Actually, now that you bring it up, I'm a twin myself. Identcal sisters. ;) Therefore, I can understand the 'seeing yourself' as a unit a lot more clearly. We are always grouped together as 'one'... I'm used to it by now, but at times I just want to scream 'I'm not the other half of a pair, I'm ME! See me as myself! Not "X's" sister or one of the "X" twins!' ;P

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-23 02:57 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, there's a set of identical twins in my family, as well, and they both complain about that a lot. They said that the best thing they ever did was go to different states for college, so that their college friend knew them as A or B, not A AND B. (Plus, the argued a lot less when they weren't in the same state). :)

Additionally, I have a very large family (eight children) and I'm the youngest. So when I was growing up, it was always people who knew someone in my family saying, "Oh, so you're an X, aren't you? Which one?" And they'd never be satisfied with just a name - I had to tell them which number I was, too.

So I was going for that idea, but even more so. I'm a firm believer that names can help shape who you are - not entirely, of course, but at least a little. And if you only identify yourself as a number, I think that would affect a person a LOT. Eh, it just struck me as a really neat idea, one I really wanted to explore.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]angelfish_82
2004-06-23 08:55 pm UTC (link)
I totally agree. My sister and I have just finished 3 years in college ourselves, and separate colleges were really the best thing for us. (And I completely agree about the arguing, after spending the better part of three years in separate provinces, we tend to be in great moods most of the time when we're togehter!)

It was actually rather funny when she would come to visit me and we would walk around campus causing all of my friends (most of whom did not know that I was a twin) to give double takes at us! lol. :) I wonder if the twins in your family ever get asked stupid questions, too? My favorite answer to the 'how do you tell each other apart?' question is: "I'm me, so she's the other one!" ;) I find it funny because to us, my sister and I look very different (I mean, besides the obvious looking similar in hair and eyes and stuff).

I find it interesting how everyone wanted to know which number you were...is that partially where you drew your characters from -- personal experiance? Everyone always askes my sister and I "How far apart are you?"..not so much the other thing, as we only come from a family of three kids.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-23 09:40 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, my sisters get the stupid questions all the time. Their favorite one is "Can you read each other's mind?" Their usual response is, "Yes we can, and right now she's thinking that's a stupid question." :) They get the 'how to tell each other apart' one a little less, since they have different length hair, but I get that question a surprising amount when the three of us are together. And as you said, the two of them look so very different to me - I can tell them apart simply by the way they stand, for god's sake. And it's actually helped me with other twins - I can usually tell them apart a lot faster then most of my friends when we first meet, because I'm used to looking for the differences.

And yeah, there was a surprising amount of emphasis on which number I was in order. So a little of that flavored the story (and the other ones I plan to write for these characters). I wasn't just Lee - I was Lee, the eighth kid of the X family. And I really identify myself by my family - we're pretty close-knit, and I tend to talk about them a lot. My friends have all commented that they knew I had seven siblings long before they knew my favorite tv show or music, and I thought that was kind of funny, partially because I've never thought of myself in any other way before. But it's not as severe as what I want to put my characters through, of course. ^_^

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Stupid Questions: Part 1
[info]angelfish_82
2004-06-23 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Ah yes, I remember that question well. Actually, my sister and I used to write for this national magazine (don't we sound all spiffy and famous now? :p Whatever... ^^;) when we were 16 called "Double Vision" (now changed to "Multiple Moments" in order to include the whole crowd of multiples -- triples, quads, quints etc). We wrote four articles (it was published quarterly) under the title: "Twinz Talk: Teen Twins Speak Out" and our first one was on the 10 most annoying/stupid things twins get asked. That said, your sister's answer was very amusing and reminded me of some of the other questions my sister and I often get asked:

- Can you feel each other's pain? (Me: (while grinning evilly at my sister) Let's see? *makes as if to pinch/swat/abuse Twin B in some form* Nope, didn't feel that. Maybe I should try again?)
- Do you have the same birthday? (Um...duh? Well, I *suppose* it's possible not to, but it's really not that common, people.)

I can't recall the others right now. Oh,I was wondering, how old are you? Now, I shall try to get back on the topic at hand and ask what it is, exactly, that you are intending to put said characters through? ^^;

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re:
[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-24 08:12 am UTC (link)
Hee! The pain one is great! I've never heard anyone ask my sisters that question, but I bet they got it sometimes. And it's really neat that you got to write for the magazine!

And I'm 21. You?

As for what I want to put my characters through... I want to separate them a little, first, then see how they react. Five, for instance, I want to send to school (he's young enough to be in first or second grade). Three and One are both going to get relatively nice jobs. I'm wavering on how old Two and Four are. I thought about sending one or both of them into high school, but I haven't decided yet. Essentially, I want to take them out of the traumatic experience they had (which they had in the place they're escaping from) and put them in a normal situation, and see how they deal.

As a side note, their numbers don't correlate to their ages - they correlate to how long they'd been there.

Eh, this is sort of my 'play' world - it's not my main focus. I work on it when I'm having issues with my Hidden series (the one with the werecat). I'm actually planning to just start writing, and see how the characters turn out. I some eventual plans for a bit more of a action-y plot, but I really want this to be more of a character-focused piece, at least in the beginning.

So what about you? You posted a short story, what else do you have sitting in the back of your mind? :)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re:
[info]angelfish_82
2004-06-24 08:44 am UTC (link)
I'm 21 as well. Neat. I wasn't too sure what the general age on "Writer Girls" was. Do you know?

I think that it's rather interesting how the numbers don't relate to their ages, it's a twist. In fact, before you told me (and I'm sure your story would have eventually indicated) I thought that they did. I rather like the way you've created the numbers/names for these characters. Well, I'm looking forwards to more of the 'werecat' story in any event. Hope it surfaces soon. ^_^

Ah...more of my own work. I have another short story which I may post soon, it's also a bit depressing, but ends on a much happier note than "A Different Kind of Ordinary" did. Btw, what did you think of the title for that one? I really liked it, but I was wondering if it made any sense to others who read it?

I also have a several longer pieces of fiction that I'm working on. Perhaps I'll get brave enough to post part of them some day. Well, maybe I'll post it in my own LJ and cross post to WG. I'm a sucker for romance, but I need my plots to have more than just that, so I really need to work on getting some action into them! I've got pages of quotes I've created for my characters to say, but no scene set for them to say them. I just think to myself, 'ah, Character X would sound just delicously sarcastic if I had him say Y!', but Character X is still no more then a paragraph in my writing journal, you know what I mean?

Ok, another random question, where do you live? Just general vicinity; I'm not a stalker or anything. ^^;; I'm in Canada.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]lee_scribbles
2004-06-24 09:34 am UTC (link)
I wasn't too sure what the general age on "Writer Girls" was. Do you know?
I think most of the people are in their twenties, but there are some people who are older or younger. I know there are a couple of people in their 40s, for instance. It's a nice demographic - there hasn't been anyone yet who's been immature or petty, and that's been nice. The mailing list I was on before LJ was filled with a bunch of very petty, very immature people (of all ages), so it's been really nice having a friendly community.

I live in Wisconsin (in the States) - I'm in college here, majoring in Computer Science. I love it, but it's a hard major that takes up a lot of my time and gives me few opportunities to write. :) I'll be graduating in December, though, so it won't be much longer.

I really like your title, actually. It sounds nice, first of all, and it has a lot of meaning. And it might not be what you were going for, but to me it made me think of doing something 'unusual' to other people so often that it's common place or mundane.

I always have problems with titles. I like 'By the Numbers', but I don't particularly care for 'Hidden' or 'Rain'. I'll probably end up changing 'Hidden' when I get farther into the story and get some new ideas.

In fact, before you told me (and I'm sure your story would have eventually indicated) I thought that they did.
Yeah, it's probably because I mention that One has been there the longest. It was partially intentional, partly not. When it was originally just going to be a single short story, it wasn't going to really matter that I had different ages in mind for the characters. Now that I'm going to develop it more, I'll have to give better descriptions of everyone at some point. I'm kind of looking forward to that, actually. It should be kind of fun to develop the characters more, and let them change.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(11 comments) - (Post a new comment)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…